as a dreamer I would love nothing more; as a realist, I know that’s close to impossible.
Think of the scene in Easy A where Emma Stone’s character, Olive Penderghast receives a call from Brandon (Dan Byrd) and is next to her best friend Rhiannon, played by Aly Michalka and Olive picks up the phone and says,
“I was just talking about you with my friend Rhiannon. You know Rhiannon, she’s uh perpetually angry, she curses like a sailor, bit. Yup that’s the one. Yeah, yup, Ok bye.”
“What is bit? Bedazzling personality? Beautiful soul?”
“Big tits!”
“That’s my identifier? Yes!”
Leaving the physical out of it, what would you want your identifier to be? Something that you have left behind for people to know it was you. Would you be proud of that? What would you change? And how?
I know it seems so meta to think about what imprint you leave behind once you are no longer here, like why are we thinking about this? But I think it shapes us, it affects how we carry ourselves every day, the way we talk, what we watch and what we’re passionate about. It spills into what we consume in a capitalist world and who we can vote for in a “democratic” country.
In the first column I mentioned “wanting world peace” as what I would want to be identified with and although that is still true, I think what influenced my thought other than the gummy I took, was looking at all of the news articles and images of where the state of the world is. Horrible and evil ideologies happening all over the world really saddens me to the point that world peace is all I can think about. That might be my Aquarius side showing because as a dreamer I would love nothing more; as a realist, I know that’s close to impossible.
I remember thinking, how could I change the world, what can I do? What should I stop doing? All of this at the ripe age of seven. In public elementary school we were constantly doing some sort of charitable work or community services. From selling chocolate out of catalogs to collecting spare change for Unicef, there was always an emphasis on helping others and it didn’t bother me, I actually thought it was admirable, I'm doing something to help others and I’m just a kid! But what I didn’t realize is that I carried that with me all the way to who I am today. All of that charitable work was drilled into my being and made me develop some not so great tendencies that have taken me a long time to realize where and how they started. For starters, the Unicef coin box? Yea, well, for a really long time and along with a really cruel babysitter, I developed an eating disorder where I felt like I needed to finish every bit of food on my plate because there are hungry kids all over the world that I am collecting coins for. That wasn’t great, but I have learned that with the help of composting, community fridges and pantries, I don’t have to feel guilty about not finishing my food because there are other sources that I can give it to. It also shaped me to be a better caregiver than that old lady for a babysitter ever was or could have been.
And that got me thinking— in the Latine culture we often show our love through food and making sure our loved ones have eaten or at least have something to nourish their bodies with. And yes, grown ups still force food down my throat but I have learned to advocate for myself now. But why don’t we have more community fridges in our communities? We have seen a higher number of unhoused people with no where to go and no food to eat, if we had more community fridges that could change a lot of things in all of our neighborhoods.
When I was a preschool teacher, not too long ago, my co-teacher and I would bring last night’s dinner or extra goods to put in the local community fridge or the surrounding local pantries. Like everyone else watching the news, we saw a surge in people needing food after the pandemic. So we would bring our class over with us to bring our items to the fridge and they would cheer us on and we would “bless” it (blowing a kiss to each item) and saying “food is for everyone!” It was a sight to see really, neighbors would commend us for showing the littles to share and give. A lot of them would cheer on with us and say thank you. The kids loved it! They would watch to see if anyone ever took the food we gave away or make us check the next day if it was still there or not. They would get excited to see that it was gone and also kind of bummed when the fridge was empty. As were we. So my mother, the giver that she is and has always been, decided to make meals every Friday. She would make anything from pasta to sandwiches to rice and beans with some sort of protein. And she made enough for each kid to put a meal in the fridge. 15 meals every Friday for 2 years. And I thought, I hope this stays with you forever, each time we took the walk to the fridge, each time they clapped and cheered and woo-hoo’d, I hope this stays with you forever.
Although, it didn’t get us any closer to world peace, I hope it stayed with them forever so that their generation can get us closer to world peace and if not, at least their neighbors, their community had a meal that night.
